Why Be Concerned About Relationships?
Good Relationships - the Challenging Goal
Relationships are the most important part of life. They are the source of most of the meaning in our existence. However, good relationships are very hard to do.
All relationships are built on common value systems. ••• For instance, we value the things that interest us. Therefore, we easily make friends when we have common interests.
Quoting Darren Twa
In relationships that fail, the reason is because there weren't enough things that were valued in common. This can especially be seen in relationships such as marriage that once were close. The irreconcilable differences are differences of value systems.
All conflicts that occur in relationships are conflicts over value systems. We value things differently than the other person. Our desires flow out of our values, and when we don't get what we want, we have conflict.
How then can we have good relationships? The answer comes from the value system that you adopt and live.
The Value System that gives Good Relationships
The best value system is one of living benficially for others. This one will not exploit them. In fact, people who live this one will find they naturally do the right thing by others without looking for loopholes.
The bad news is that this value system is not a natural human value system. Our native value system is selfish living for the benefit of me! We want to have our appetites satisfied, have people like us and have our own empire of control. As a result, our relationships suffer.
The good news is that sacrificial living for the benefit of others is the value system of God, and he has created a way in which we can change to adopt his value system. In a result when we adopt it, our relationship with him is immediately restored. We also come to share his value system with all others who have adopted it, and in doing so gain many new, rich relationships. Finally, all other existing relationships will also benefit because we have been changed in the foundational values that motivate us.
We can have good relationships through the value system of God.
The value system perspective used here is based on ideas from the work of Darren Twa.