The Sayings of Eli
Eli, Born 2013
Before school... Camden came out of her room and said:
Camden: How do I look, mom?
(shes wearing jeans, a black necklace choker, high pony tail, a black shirt, converse shoes and a plaid longsleeve shirt tied around her waist)
Janae: You look great! Very cute outfit.
Elias: You look like you need a boyfriend.
Eli: Where’s dad?
Janae: He’s fishing.
Eli: WHAT?!?! I want to go fishing!!!
Janae: Sorry bud, just adults this time.
Eli: But I know how to catch sharks!! You just need a bag of blood!
Eli: Mom, I really want to go to karate class.
Janae: Maybe in the fall.
Eli: I’d settle for a spy class instead.
Eli: I have goosebumps everywhere! I’m just one huge goosebump!
Janae was cuddling with Eli in the morning while watching a TV show, with him laying on her torso... He looked up, and GLARED at me... NO idea why.
Eli: Mom... Can you PLEASE go eat breakfast. Your growling tummy is bothering me.
(Larry) Eli had stayed with us and there was sand on the floor where his bag of clothes had been. We were talking about it later and...
Eli: I have sandboxes in my shoes.
(Larry) Eli had fallen off the couch and in the bump, he cut his lower lip inside his mouth. It wasn’t too bad, but he was telling me about one of his friends that had a similar accident that was much worse:
Eli: They had to go the the hospital and he got emergency britches!
Sunday nights is kind of fend for yourself, or eat leftovers... Eli chose a freezer meal and said —
Eli: I don’t like it.
Eli: Because you didn’t make it
Janae: Well, I microwaved it for you.
Eli: Yeah... but you didn’t make it. Maybe when I’m a teenager I’ll like it. Teenagers eat anything.
Eli just woke up and went straight to the bathroom for a morning pee. He came into Janae's room when he was done.
Eli: Mom, I lifted the seat when I went pee but I made a huge mess and I don’t know how to clean it.
Janae: What kind of mess?
Eli: Well, I was peeing, I did a bless-you, and I farted all at the same time. So, it kind of went everywhere.
A conversation with Eli at bedtime:
Austin: I like your smile!
Eli: I like your smile too... except yours has lines at the bottom!
Eli: Mom, I need to go blow my nose. This side is chunky. I can’t even fit my finger in it.
Elias and Janae were at Costco. They were giving out samples of chocolate dipped coconut bites...
Janae: Oh boy. These are tasty. It would be dangerous to have in my home!!
Elias: Well, we should get some and keep them outside then!
Eating a piece of bacon:
Eli: Mom! This part, right here, on the edge... the rusty part... is so so yummy.
Janae: You mean the crispy part?
Eli: Whatever it is. It's yummy.
Jan 4 Eli: Can I help you paint?
Janae: No... this part is for adults.
Eli: Okay. I’ll just watch. I’ll tell you every time I see you make a mistake.
Elias’ shirt was wrinkly so Janae got out the iron and ironing board.
Janae: Let me iron your shirt Bubba.
Eli: Do I need to lay down on it [the ironing board]?
They went swimming at McMenamins... for 2 hours. Eli's hands were VERY wrinkly.
Eli: My hands look like Grandma Turner's!!
Janae: Yup! They sure do!
Eli: She must have gone swimming for a REALLY long time!!
Eli took a pretty big crash on his bike... Janae put him up on the counter to look at his leg and to clean it up. They decided that it would be a good idea to take a bath too, so she took his shirt off.
(Looking at his belly because there were red marks and old bruises...)
Janae: My goodness! Where did these come from?
Eli: I don't know.
Janae: It must be because you are a boy.
Eli: Yup. That must be it.
Watching the beginning of Pixar's "Up" with Elias on the couch...
Eli: Are you okay mom??
Janae: Yeah. I'm fine.
Eli: But there are drips coming from your eyes!!
Janae: Well, yeah. I'm sad because his wife died.
Eli: Mom, are you still crying?
Janae: No. Well, maybe a little.
Eli: I can still hear your whining voice.
Eli and Janae were cuddling on the couch... he looked up at me.
Janae: I really love your eyes.
Elias: Thanks. But you can't have them.
Janae was at a stoplight combing her hair. The light turned green so she put the comb on her lap. When the car started moving, the comb slid off her lap.
Janae: No no no... you can't say that!
Eli: Why not?
Janae: Only mama's can say that.
Eli: Why did you say it?
Me: Because something happened that I didn't want to happen.
Eli: Well, I said "oh shoot" because I got boogers in my hair.
Eli: Daddy!! Mama got a dragon fruit from the store!
Austin: Is it yummy?
Austin: Does it taste like dragons?
Eli: No... it doesn't taste like fire. It's just fruit dad.
Out running errands and leaving the last place...
Eli: Let’s go out to eat.
Janae: Nah... we have food at home.
Eli: But restaurants are fun!
Janae: I know. But we need to save our money.
Eli: I don't have any money either. I know!! Let's go to a friends house for lunch. That doesn't cost money!
Eli: I'm going to get bigger than my dad!
Johanna: Is that your goal?
Eli: No, that's my dad!
Eli was talking about nuts: what kind he liked and didn't like. He didn't like peanuts. He was talking about who had some of the almonds he liked.
Eli: Grampi's nuts
Janae was sitting by herself on the couch and Eli came and cuddled up next to her...
Eli: You're' my good mommy.
Janae (giggling): Oh yeah? Who's the bad one?
Eli: Umm... Daddy is a good daddy too.
Janae: But, if I'm the good one, who's the bad one?
He's quiet, and thinking hard...
Eli: That one! (Pointing to the mean princess on Princess Sophia)
(Good answer buddy!)
Jan 6, 2017
Eli went to a nanny's house 3-5 days per week for some hours in the day so Janae could work. However, one day he was home with her...
Janae: What should we do today Bubba?
Eli: Go to Sushi Hana.
Janae: Nah... we have plenty of food here, we don't need to go to Sushi Hana.
Eli: Okay. How bout you make lunch, we can watch shows and play with the kitties all day?
Janae: (Sure buddy. Sounds good.)
Dec 27, 2016
Camden: Can I have some more edamame?
Janae: Where are you guys getting your extra stomachs?
Eli: From Grampi!
Janae gave Eli some rice, but he wanted some more. He pushed his plate toward her:
Eli: I want much, I want too much!
Austin: Eli, can you say "Happy Father's Day"?
Eli: I don't know how. I'll say it when I get bigger.
Tasia: Eli, you're driving me crazy..
Eli: Why am I driving you crazy, Tasia?
Tasia: Because you keep asking me why after everything I say..
Eli: Why am I asking you why, Tasia?
Tasia: I dunno Eli... You tell me!!
Eli: What do you want me to tell you, Tasia?
Eli said he didn't like the caramelized onions in the yams. There were only two more bites to eat, and then he could have ice cream. Janae mixed it together, put the bite on his fork, and gave it to him.
Eli: My teeth like it!
Eli was given a pencil eraser that looked like a little cell phone. Janae told him he must not put it in his mouth; it was only for erasing. They were driving and Eli put it in his mouth.
Janae: Take it out of your mouth Eli!!
Eli: I'm erasing the food off my my teeth!
We pray before dinner EVERY night. For the first time I asked Eli to pray.
Eli: Sure! (He closed his eyes) Dear Jesus, Thank you I play with Legos. I eat my food. Amen.
Eli (at breakfast): It's raining! We can't go outside and play! Eat my bacon.
Janae (whispering): I love you.
Eli (whispering back): I love you too.
Janae: You’re my favorite little boy.
Eli: You’re my favorite boy too.
Elias came running to Janae with his eyes closed and watering...
Elias: Mom! Sumtin' in my eyes!
Janae: Okay, come here, let me see. [Lays him down to look in his eyes.] Oh yeah... I see. Looks like a cat hair.
Elias: No, it's Mac n cheese.
Janae: No... It's not. We haven't had Mac n cheese since yesterday. Okay. There, I got it, see? It's a cat hair.
Elias: Nope. It's Mac n cheese. [He pretended to snatch it from my hand and pretended to eat it and pretended to chew it.] See? Mac n cheese.